Oh my what a busy time I've had

I have not had a chance to just sit back and relax since Wednesday. Let me tell you what I've been up to the last couple of days.

Wednesday
Rented a car and went out to ocean city. Tried to get the convertible but couldn't because you have to be 25. Spent half my day at Ocean City then finally came home at around 8 or 9. Bought a Nintendo DS and passed out.

Thursday
4 Hour drive to Busch Gardens Europe to ride the rollercoasters. Especially, the Griffon. 205 foot drop at a 90 degree angle. It is the most intense rollercoaster I've ever been on. The buildup is just incredible. Sitting in the front seat, close to the end of the row. There's no track underneath you, theres no floor. And you're dangling right at the top of the drop for about 5 seconds (although it feels longer) before they drop you, then it's a loopdeloop, spin, a SECOND drop, half the size, then another loopdeloop, spin, and you're back at the beginning. Whole thing takes about 45 seconds.

Friday
It's just me and our new exec sous Charles at work today. Banged out our work, only took 11 hours. Good day all in all. (Charles came with me to Busch Gardens by the way) It's cool when you can go out with your boss and hang out and have a good time. Charles is a good chef, and I can learn a lot from him. But at the end of the day when I'm not on the clock. He's just Charles, and I can talk and joke with him. He's not afraid that he's gonna say the wrong thing and get taken to the Human Resources department. He's just himself. It's awesome when you have a boss like that.

Saturday.
Starting right at 12:01 am. Start celebrating my birthday. Hanging out at my neighbours house, playing a little beer pong. Listening to Tim talk about his days as a line cook. Fall asleep around 4am. Go to work at 10. Another 11 hour day. We plated up almost 500 plates in about an hour. For a hot food plate-up. That's not bad. Not the best, but not bad. I was runner, so I was responsible for making sure every station had what it needed to plate up. Cooking spinach, potatoes, fish, broccolini, whatever it takes. Gotta be quick on your feet. It wasn't a perfect night, was late on 1 or 2 things. But did pretty good I thought. I'll do better once I get some practice at it. Get home, get ready for my birthday party that same night. Round 11 o'clock, 11:30, people start showing up. Mostly interns, cuz they're always down for a party. Then by 12, I'm drunk, people are still making me drink alchohol. I then proceeded to get the sickest I've ever been in my life. I remember mostly a few people taking care of me. Making sure I didn't drown. With a little bit of "oh gosh I think I'm gonna die" thrown in there. It's pretty safe to say I'm not drinking again for a little while.

Now it's Sunday, and since it's the Sabbath. I'm going to rest. The most important thing I have to take care of today is sending Joel some birthday money for his Wii.

Oh yeah, got paid Friday. 52 MORE CENTS AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 1000$ Oh well, it was gross over 1400$ I can deal with that. All the working and not doing anything is starting to pay off. I've got some money saved up that isn't going to go to bills. The odds of me getting a vacation are pretty slim. But if I go home I'll just get homesick anyways. I think I'm just gonna try to put my head down, work through this summer, then hold on the last few months till November when I get to finally go home. Still haven't decided what I'm going to do when I get back though.

I don't know if I want to continue cooking after this. I'll be honest, I love my job, it's challenging, emotionally rewarding, I'm not bad at it, theres always room for improvement, but I feel I could get a job just about anywhere in the world and be a contributing member of the team. But one of the main reasons I took the job is I wanted to make people happy. But I've realized while I'm down here that those people I'm making happy are all strangers. I've never met them before, I'll probably never see them again. It's not like I don't like serving those people. It's just that I feel I should be home, serving my family, my friends, then strangers. The only thing I've ever loved more than cooking, is making people happy. I'm no longer sure that cooking is the best way to do that.

In my head, when I picture finally being at home after all of this. I don't picture working in a fancy restaurant or hotel. I picture being at home, at church, at youth group. Serving those people. And it's difficult to do that when you're spending 12-15 hours a day at work, sweating yourself raw, making strangers happy. Then to come home and have any energy left to take care of your family. And while I could enjoy that and have a fine life. I've realized that's not my first priority. It's in my top ten, but it's not number #1.

At this point, I haven't decided on anything yet. I'm waiting right now. Waiting for a door to open up, a path to clear itself, the streetlights to come on. So I can finally see where I'm going. Until then, I'm still gonna try and be good at my job. Because that's not a bridge I want to burn. But I'm not gonna make any plans until something reveals itself.

This is me, in flux. All things are subject to change. But I'm ready for it.