Ocean City and other thoughts
So Mike, Mike, Erin, Brad, and I all went to Ocean City today.
Have you ever seen a movie where it shows the "stereotypical" beach boardwalk, with t-shirt shops, carnival games, and rides. That's exactly what it looked like. Down to the last tee. Except, the people weren't as pretty as they are on T.V. They never are.
But let me say this. The girls in Vancouver are so gorgeous. In vancouver, every time you're done craning your neck for the last girl, another pops into sight, and you're doing this the entire time you're walking down the streets.
Here, in the touristtrapprettypeopleinbathingsuitsonthebeach city of Maryland, it was hard to find a pretty girl that wasn't already taken.
So on the hour and a half long drive home. Needless to say we were all pretty tired. So we just drove, and listened to music, and chilled. It was quiet, and peaceful. So I had a lot of time to think.
I'm beginning to dread being left alone with my thoughts. Whenever I have long periods of time with which to ponder. I start to nitpick at my life. Analyzing and critiqueing it. Thinking about things I could have done better, things I should do that might make my life better. Emotional troubles I've had in the past. Emotional troubles I have now. Financial things, lots of financial things. I think a lot about work, goals I want to set for myself. (going through every station of every outlet in a year, in a year and a half program.) And I pick it all apart. And by the time it's over, I'm overcome with a feeling of melancholy. Of almost bone deep sorrow that never truly seems to fade. It spoils the times I could be enjoying with my friends. Being silly and loud and obnoxious, and having a good time. It spoils my work, nobody wants to work when they're not feeling like they're accomplishing anything. It even dictates my future mood. ( I made a conscious thought that I would mope around tomorrow, and if anyone asked I would say I was homesick)
As always, Happiness remains elusive.
Have you ever seen a movie where it shows the "stereotypical" beach boardwalk, with t-shirt shops, carnival games, and rides. That's exactly what it looked like. Down to the last tee. Except, the people weren't as pretty as they are on T.V. They never are.
But let me say this. The girls in Vancouver are so gorgeous. In vancouver, every time you're done craning your neck for the last girl, another pops into sight, and you're doing this the entire time you're walking down the streets.
Here, in the touristtrapprettypeopleinbathingsuitsonthebeach city of Maryland, it was hard to find a pretty girl that wasn't already taken.
So on the hour and a half long drive home. Needless to say we were all pretty tired. So we just drove, and listened to music, and chilled. It was quiet, and peaceful. So I had a lot of time to think.
I'm beginning to dread being left alone with my thoughts. Whenever I have long periods of time with which to ponder. I start to nitpick at my life. Analyzing and critiqueing it. Thinking about things I could have done better, things I should do that might make my life better. Emotional troubles I've had in the past. Emotional troubles I have now. Financial things, lots of financial things. I think a lot about work, goals I want to set for myself. (going through every station of every outlet in a year, in a year and a half program.) And I pick it all apart. And by the time it's over, I'm overcome with a feeling of melancholy. Of almost bone deep sorrow that never truly seems to fade. It spoils the times I could be enjoying with my friends. Being silly and loud and obnoxious, and having a good time. It spoils my work, nobody wants to work when they're not feeling like they're accomplishing anything. It even dictates my future mood. ( I made a conscious thought that I would mope around tomorrow, and if anyone asked I would say I was homesick)
As always, Happiness remains elusive.
posted by ThePassionateChef at 10:22 PM
3 Comments:
You sound like your mother so I will offer this advice. You will never appreciate the joyful times if you didn't have the sorrowful times to compare them to. Appreciate the good when it comes and don't dwell too often (or long)on the bad. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning, a new opportunity. Love the people who are in your life today, always cut them some slack. And be easy on yourself. And remember that there is no one who loves you as much as your mom. :)
Just think of me, then you'll be happy :D
SMile Josh. It's important to know that you live with people who care about you. That Black Bile you carry with you, know you can always just let it loose..not on me though...maybe on mike. Pain is part of learning who you are...so endure it and grow in character becasue of it..then go out in that big bad world and kick some BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (all the way to somewhere far away from here)
Peace out yo homes
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